Iron Fest

An uncharacteristically patriotic tribute to Nosh-American wouldn't be complete without a piece on the Hamburger. It's unctuous nature and myriad of potential topping combinations makes it the poster child for America's freedom to choose.

Would you like grass-fed or corn-fed beef?

Pickles or portabellas?

Sun dried tomato Aioli or Mendicino mustard?

Bloody or charred to a crisp?

Sourdough roll or wholewheat bun?

Like your current girlfriend the burger can be dressed up as much or little as you're in the mood for. Unlike that nagging sophomoric blondie the burger doesn't require constant attention and care- although you must beware of those occasional unexpected flare-ups. One has to be quite the stiff to mess up this combination of fluffy buns and pulverized cow. Simply put, the hamburger is one of the most unsophisticated yet satisfying ways to feed your face.

Ok, here we got my good buddy Mike (Vil). He's what you would call a burger connoisseur in the truest sense of the word. The kid just lives for that beef. Legend has it he once tried to order a double cheeseburger from panda express and when they wouldn't comply he threw a fit and defecated in a vat of sweet and sour pork when nobody was looking. Don't mess with this guy when he's on his iron hunting missions.

Lets get a close-up of that bovine massacre. Look closely and you can see a bead of grease about to jump off that fat slice of bacon. Cow and pig living harmoniously together. Today Vil went with a bacon cheeseburger on San Francisco sourdough but he's been known to order anything from the gruyere and roasted garlic to the spicy green curry thai burger.

When asked why he enjoys burgers so much, Vil responded

'Uh..they just taste good, okay dude? Pass the ketchup.'

Amen.