That's All Kids

Global Journey: Scene IX


The last bowl.


Nothing more, nothing less. Just một bát Northern Style Phở Bò. They keep the broth strategically sugar-free up here, and that big mound of basil and culantro is noticeably absent. Focus on the bEEf. Probably the national dish of Việt Nam, yet during all my time here I've never been much of a follower- no matter where I sampled. No doubt it's damn slurpable with its rich and salty broth, sliced scallions and chewy rice noodles. The mix of tender brisket and rare beef slices is hard to hate on, and I'm well aware the hipsters from Stockholm to Silver Lake crave them some late night PHở. For me, I'm fully content with a bowl of multi-textural Mì Quảng. Case closed.

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Best Meal: Bánh Mì Xíu Mại in Cam Ranh

Worst Meal: Gà Ta Chiên (fried free-range chicken) in Mèo Vạc

Best grub regions: Phan Thiết, Cam Ranh bay, Hội An

Worst grub regions: Hà Giang, Quảng Trị, most places north of the D.M.Z.!

If you've got Facebook, peep all my other non-food related photos from the trip. Also, you can get global via twitter 'globaleats'.

Where to next?!?

Stay Erratic.

As High as it Gets

Global Journey: Scene VIII

Well, the Cub scooted it's way up to the Capitol. From there I chucked it in a bus up to city of Hà Giang, to give my ass a rest. After reaching Hà Giang it was back on the 49cc again, to explore the northeast wilderness. We'll finish up in Hà Nội next time.



Heirloom cucumbers for 26 cents a kilo. Pretty sure she overcharged me.



In the north many spots are cook to order like this casual sit-down restaurant. This place had the choice or chicken or pork. He fried me up one the worst meals in some time. Female cooks from now on.



Sweet Bánh Mì.



Lemongrass marinated spicy pork leg skewers. Wood fire is the key element. Northern meats are generally more salty than in Hồ Chí Minh. A welcomed change after all that southern sugar.



Nighttime steam buns.



Thuốc Lào. A type of Vietnamese tobacco smoked bamboo-bong style. Okay, not edible but comes from plant, yo. A rush, no doubt. Here's a local with high-elevation-lung-capacity showing how it's done. Aids in digestion to boot.

Stay Vaporous.

Come On In

Global Journey: Scene VII

Wandering through the impoverished, drought-stricken provinces of north-central Việt Nam. Landed in the little country town of Nghĩa Hiếu, in the province of Nghệ An. Ended up chillin' there for a few days longer than expected. Swell kuntry folk, always eager and willing to offer up a bowl or rice, or $11 prostitute. Don't worry kids, I only indulged in one of those offers. Read on.

Roadside pineapples: 10,000 VND (52 cents) a pop. Grandma (not pictured) enlightening you on why you should marry a Vietnamese girl and bring her to the states: no added charge.

I had heard good things about Lạng Sơn style roasted duck, so I was pumped to see this duck rotisserie in the middle of the Nghệ An sticks. Did this kid know his bird or what? Even spent time up in the mountain province to study the authentic ways of duck preparation and roastage. Grass fed, free-range ducks bathed in honey, fish sauce, lemongrass, fresh turmeric, sugar and vinegar- along with the imperative móc mật leaves, which are shipped direct from Lạng Sơn. After that 3 hour soak they're hardwood roasted while basted with honey for 50 minutes, chopped up and served. He sells all 40 each and every day.

These free roaming ducks (vịt cỏ) have tight flesh (remember?) but are just tender enough to enjoy. Even my Mama, infamous for her perpetual revulsion of duck dishes would give this honey-basted-leanest-bird-not-named-turkey a shot. Yeah, I polished it off clean. 80.000 VND ($4.17) per.

My second night in Nghệ An, some neighbors invited me for dinner. After dinner they invited me for lunch the following day. As is the custom in Việt Nam, the invitations will continue until you either leave town or impregnate the 3rd cousin. Anyway, the mother and I made plans to hit up the market the following morning. I'd pick up the tab is she put together a scrumptious mid-day meal. Here she is with her favorite swine seller, who also serves up a damn accurate volleyball lob.

Cooking up a nice lil' bean sprout, spring onion and beef stir-fry. Not sure what the hat's for, could be a leak.

Sweet caramelized shrimp (tôm rim), shell on of course; boiled veggies, that beef and bean sprout stir-fry along with sweet and sour pork {#1} (sườn xào chua ngọt). Beers to wash it down. Delish.

Stay Cross-Legged.

No substitute for a good cha…

So you’ve been wondering what’s missing in your life? A woman? A career? Those sideburns you’ve been trying to sprout since you were 16? After quite a bit of contemplation you realize it’s the lack of Cha that’s getting you down. I’m talking bún chả, a specialty of Vietnam’s capitol city; Hà Nội. It just so happened that I was in this city last week, so I just had to indulge.

Bún chả is popular lunchtime meal for Hà Nội-ians, and for good reason. Juicy pork meatballs are cha-grilled over smoky lump charcoal then given a bath of garlicky sweetened fish sauce. This bowl of sweet meat is served alongside a brimming plate of local greens and fresh rice noodles (bún).

The charcoal grill is steadily fanned to keep the flame hot ‘n happy. No flame = no fun. Just want a little chả on it…

The whole package for VND 15.000

While you surely can’t have bún chả without the meat, the true appeal of this dish may be the successful marriage of its simple ingredients. Essentially pigs ‘n plants, bún chả mixes sweet sauce with sticky noodles with smoky pork with cool greens to create a perfect midday pick-me-up.